You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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