Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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