Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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