How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
