I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
