Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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