; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
