You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
