how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
