can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
