just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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