K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
