U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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