a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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