somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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