Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
