seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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