You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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