i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
