Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
