So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
