Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
