just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
