Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
