I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
