He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
