Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i think my mom watched the whole time
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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