God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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