I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
