i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
