the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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