Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
