How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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