I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The best revenge is premature balding
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
