He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
