I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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