Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
