just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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