Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
