Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
