Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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