i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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