So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Randomize
