your room smells of hookers.
And success
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
This house was built for laser tag.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
