and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
PANTIES FOUND
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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