Dual....:-)
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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