I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
