Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
