This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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