yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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