"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
